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| I found my old Xanga again. What fun. A lot seems to change looking through all my old entries, and its a good time to start again, after everything's been said and done. College has been stressful, but great at the same time. Yes, despite the seemingly impossible odds (judging from my old posts anyways) I am going to UCLA, but it seems such an empty thought now in that college really isn't "the end"; its another beginning. It sounds corny, but in reality, it really doesn't stop at getting into college. All my life (probably the same for every Asian person alive) has been geared towards getting into a good college, but the fatal flaw to this mechanism is that it doesn't perceive a momentum carrying much more beyond that. I guess its a time to adjust though, as it's very stunningly clear that I'm going to be missing parts of high school so much more now than ever.
Classes are OK, but, again, really stressful. School as a whole is totally different. Living on campus is great, and its an experience that goes totally beyond at home. I still feel a little tinge of regret for not going to UCSD to be close to my family and home, but its a feeling that fades fast when you feel the school spirit, live the "college" life, and open up a closed mind. I feel as though I should be caring more that I don't talk to my old cliques as much, that I really don't feel that regret of not being as close of friends as before, but I guess that's life.
I'm at home right now, visiting for the 3rd time since I left. Its a sad thought knowing that eventually I won't be frequenting home nearly as often as now, but also that by coming home as often as I do now, I'm hindering my social interactions at school. I guess my dilemma will fade over time, especially during winter quarter when I don't plan to come back often, but even as I say that, the guilt sinks in.
Writing in this journal really is fun. I enjoy reading through my old notes, and seeing just where I'm coming from. I'm looking forwards (maybe not), to rediscovering this some other time (hopefully soon), and posting.
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| It seems as though something has inflicted a terrible virus upon my computer and now I am utterly incapable of going on either my beloved Maplestory or my beloved-er AIM. Seriously, I've been trying for the past week to fix the problem. Makes me feel really bad wasting all that time ignoring people on AIM T_T Whoever knows how to somehow get AIM to revert from TCP port 5180 to its designated 5190 please tell me now. I can't even go on email, though, which is leading me to think (though unfortunately I haven't been able to figure out how to fix it) that my security settings are being raised through the roof. But enough nerdiness, its senior year. I feel as though senioritis hit me the moment I set foot in school again. Its a wonderful feeling of being totally carefree and not having this ulcer of worry in the back of my head. Problem with that is I have to deal with the dreaded AP ENGLISH OF FCKIN DOOM. Freaking A, how can someone stretch out the BS on a paper for more than 6 pages? @_@ Not even my expert bsing ass can pull out that much crap. If only I could drop this damned class, senioritis would be a much more delightful disease to have. | | |
| Who still uses Xanga? I mean, posting a picture and taking some surveys on Myspace is sooo much better. People that still use Xanga are living in the stone age of blogging. Pssh, who cares about the blog anymore? Its all about making a huge network of "friends" on Myspace whom you've never met and probably will never talk to again and hoping that this makes you "popular" Who cares about old fashioned blogs talking about personal problems, and challenges? Anyone who's anyone knows that a pretty picture with wallpaper and background music that takes 5 minutes to load are all that make a difference in the online world now. Forget the human aspect of online journals, its all about being engrossed in an enormous fad that speaks about as much for the human soul as dirt. Lets all hitch onto the bandwagon of popularity instead of being stuck like hicks in the backwater of Xanga. Onwards towards Myspace fame! Now if only I could figure out how to post a fancy wallpaper... | | |
| Back on Xanga. Must finish essay. | | |
| Well I find it rather refreshing not thinking about school for a while. Spending whole days languishing behind my desk doing homework is such a wonderful reprieve from spending whole days languishing at school doing classwork ^_^ In fact, I'm so freaking happy about it that I've decided to share it with people on xanga. HOW THE F***ING HELL IS IT F***ING POSSIBLE TO HAVE MORE HOMEWORK DURING BREAK THAN NORMALLY?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? I mean, its all good and well that missing the cut off for some self-imposed SAT warrants a little bit more trying but honestly, spending the whole break studying while blissfully *unaware* of the 4 weeks after break's over to cram is a little bit extreme >_> At any rate I shall find some method by which to redeem this pitiful Christmas break......O_O
~Victor | | |
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